Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
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