I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
