It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Is it penis luge time yet?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
