Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
I deserve to be covered in dicks
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Randomize
