And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
Randomize