I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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