well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
operation have a gay friend backfired
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
