Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
Randomize
