she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
I have aggressive nipples.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
