I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
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