my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
Randomize
