This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Randomize
