yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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