He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
