their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
