considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
