my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How does one acquire holy water?
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
