Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
