You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Randomize
