I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
