My liver just broke up with me...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
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