I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
