I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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