i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I fill condoms, not promises.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
Randomize
