yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
operation harelip BJ is a go
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
