If i come over, it means nothing
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
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