Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I checked into jail on foursquare
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I yelled at your uterus for you.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
