I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
Randomize
