We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
You should have been there to see the look on her face when I told her that my dog gives better head than her. It was a beautiful symphony of shock, anger, and disbelief.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
