You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
