Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
