So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I would rather you cheat on me then you watch this season of Breaking Bad without me.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
