there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
did you just send me my own nude
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
