dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
Come share oat with me in your robe
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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