i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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