ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am available for nakedness
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