I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
