Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
Randomize
