Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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