So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
