guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
