I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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