check it out our google latitudes are spooning
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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