I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Randomize
