as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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