the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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