Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
