i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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