I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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