need another drink. this is the easiest way
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize
