Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
