She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
