I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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