I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
