I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
