In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
We're going to watch the inauguration and fuck. Or fuck and watch the inauguration, I'm not picky, just get your ass over here by ten.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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