We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize
