apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
