id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
