he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
