pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
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